This Has Nothing To Do With Charlie Sheen

I had a very odd dream the other night.

I was in the car with my wife. We were sitting at a stop sign when we were rear-ended. It was more of a tap than a crash. No one slammed into us, the just bumped us. As a matter of fact, it was such a small tap that I wasn't even going to get out of the car to do anything about it.

I mean, it’s not worth swapping insurance information and calling the police for what would turn out to be some light scratches on my bumper. However, I’m never sure what the other driver might want to do, so I glanced into my rearview mirror to see what they were doing. If they were getting out of their car, then I suppose I’d have to get out of mine.

In general I would just ignore the entire thing as if it didn’t happen and drive on. But when I looked into the rearview mirror to see who was behind me I saw a car full of kids and a lady at the wheel who was sound asleep.

I decided that I’d better get out of the car.

So I approach the car behind me and wake the lady up.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

She jerks awake and mumbles something at me about going to the doctor, I couldn't quite make it out.

"You just rear ended my car," I tell her. "Maybe we should trade insurance information.”

"Yeah, sure," she says drunkenly as she starts to unbuckle.

So I go back over to my car, to the passenger side. My wife rolls down her window.

"You need to call 911 right now," I say to her. "That lady was asleep at the wheel and she has a car full of children.”

So, as my wife is dialing 911, I grab a pad and pencil and go to join the woman, who I see is now out of her car and sitting on the curb between the two vehicles. She looks like she's trying to shake off an all night bender as she sits there with her head in her hands.

I go over to her, sit down next to her, and hand her my insurance card. She lifts her head, smiles at me, takes my card, and then just sits there, starring at it.

"Can I get your card?" I ask the lady.

"Oh, yeah . . . sure," she croaks and hands me her card.

I begin to look it over and as I prepare to copy her information I notice that it's not an insurance card, but an ID badge for the local hospital. I also notice that in the space that would have her name, it just says “Patient”.

This is the point where I begin to get generally creeped out. I don’t mind however, that she didn’t give me her insurance card. I don't really want her insurance card. At this point I'm just trying to delay her, keep her here while we wait for the police. It's a good thing too because she's still done nothing with my card except stare at it.

Soon enough, the police arrive, followed by a tow truck. I was curious about the tow truck but assumed that my wife didn't clarify the severity, or non-severity, of the accident.

It was as the police car was pulling up to the curb that I woke up.

I'm sure the dream meant nothing.

This had nothing to do with Charlie Sheen.

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