The Church of Minos #15

The following takes place after The Walrus of Death, which you can purchase HERE

Part Two

-This is a first draft-

My car was still at the office, left there yesterday when the Walrus stuffed me in the trunk of his car and took me back to my place to kill me. From there I went straight to jail in the back of a patrol car.

This only meant that I was forced to walk.

Luckily it was only three blocks from the Police Station to my office. And to tell the truth, I needed the air.

I passed by the Pub on the way. It’s located just down the street and across from my office. Though it was early, I could hear rock music coming from the building, so I knew that Abner would be there. But first, a shower and a change of clothes.

My office sits on the corner of Seventh and Main, right above the Coffee Bean. I arrived to find a woman sitting in a utility truck at the curb on the Seventh Street side.

“You Norman Oklahoma?” She said through the open truck window as I approached the building.

“Who’s asking?”

“Jacqueline Murphy,” she said. “Murphy’s Glass.” She got out of the truck. “You can call me Jack.”

Jack Murphy was a big woman. And I mean like akin to a giant. She wasn’t overweight or one of them thick-headed body building types. She was just, well, she was big. She had at least eighteen inches on me and I’m a hair over six feet. And she was wide too, like a linebacker in full pads. Standing before her I understood how those barbarian raiders must have felt when they encountered the Great Wall of China for the first time.

“What can I do for you, Jacqueline Murphy, Murphy’s Glass?” I said as the big woman approached. I had to fight the urge not to open my coat and put a hand on one of the pistols.

“I’m here to fix your window,” she said. “And call me Jack.”

Yesterday I was thrown out of my office window by a walrus.

That ain’t no euphemism.

A mutant walrus-man, created in a lab by a group of scientists for pure whimsy, was sent to kill me.

He didn’t.

He had been sent by Abner Lemonzeo, Eudora’s resident bad guy. I’d gone to visit Abner in the Pub yesterday to tell him that the Walrus had failed and that Abner had been a naughty boy. Furthermore I’d explained that if Abner did anything like that ever again that he’d get a spanking.

Abner had vampires with him at the time. A pair of them. That’s who I was shooting at that got me arrested. But hey, if I hadn’t been arrested I probably wouldn’t have found out about Maggie. So there’s a lesson here. Shooting at vampires is always a good thing. Hitting them is even better.

“Yes, it’s true that I got a busted window up there,” I said, pointing up to my office. “But I don’t recall calling anyone about it.”

“Well, I got a call,” she said and then starting fishing around in a pocket of her coveralls. She pulled free a sheet of paper and studied it for a moment. “I got the work order right here. Says to bill Pat McCrea.”

Once I thought about it I did recall Pat saying last night that she’s called someone about the window.

“I suppose if Patsy’s paying then I’ll show you the way.”

Jacqueline “Jack” Murphy grabbed a tool box from her truck and I led her into the building and up the steps.

“You one of those impersonators?” she asked as we reached top of the steps and the door to my office on the second floor.

I turned to her. “What?”

“The way you dress,” she said. "You look like Elliot Ness or something. I thought maybe you were one of those celebrity impersonators.”

“Is there a lot of call for an Elliot Ness impersonator?”

“I don’t think so,” she said.

“I’m a private investigator,” I said and pointed at the door. Painted on the glass of the door where the words:


“Oh, I see,” was her only reply.

We stood that way for a moment in the stairwell before I realized that she wasn’t going to say anymore, so I let the two of us into the office.

I have the entire top floor to myself. We entered through a waiting room that was nothing more than a couch with some magazines strewn about on it. I don’t have a secretary, so I tend to just greet clients as they enter. I have a little bell on the door that lets me know whenever the door opens. I have another entrance into the main office itself from the back alley, but I’ve always preferred entering a place through the front door when I can.

To the right of the waiting room was a small bathroom and even smaller supply closet.

Beyond the waiting room is my office which is decorated simply with a large desk at the back. Two chairs for clients, and small table with coffee pot and other such accoutrements.

“It’s a bit sparse,” Jack said, filling the room.

“I like sparse,” I said.

“I’ll assume the window I’m here to fix is the one with the blue plastic tarp taped over it?”

“That’d be the one.”

She moved to the window and began peeling back the plastic.

“The frame is intact, so that’s good,” she said.

“Is it?”

“Sure is. Means we just need to put in some new glass and not a whole new window.”

“When can that happen?”

“Today, most likely,” she said.


“Yeah, I just need to take some measurements and we’ll get you all hooked up.”

I hung my coat on the coat tree just inside and door and started a pot of coffee as Jack measured the window frame.

“If you don’t mind, I’ll just step out and freshen up a bit,” I said. “You just do what you need to do.

I had my own private bathroom with a small shower attached to the office. I also had a spare suit in my bottom desk drawer. It would be wrinkled, but better wrinkled then covered in mud.

After the shower I dressed in the bathroom and found Jack still in the office. She had removed the blue plastic from the window and was standing and looking out onto the street when I entered.

“So, what exactly happened to the window?” She asked.

I sat at the desk and pulled on my shoes.

“Oh, well,” I said. “I was thrown through it … by a walrus.”

“Ah,” she said. “Okay. I suppose that’s the sort of thing you run into a lot in your line of work?”

“Surprisingly, yes,” I said.

“Well, this all seems fairly standard. I have most of what I need here to get started. I should have it all completed by this evening.

“Do I need to be here?” I asked as I tied my shoes.

“Not unless you want to be.”

“Okay, good. I have a man to see about a goblin.”

“That some sort of euphemism?” She asked, still looking out the window.

“Surprisingly, no,” I said, and then I left.

Here ends Chapter Seven.

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